Karma
by Avalon373
Summary: "Maybe this was Karma for all my previous wrongdoings. Someone had once told me Karma came back not just three-fold, but ten-fold. That didn't even begin to cover it." Dimitri decides to leave Rose for Tasha. Faced with her greatest fear, Rose must decide how to fight for their love. Filled with love and passion, smiles and tears... This is their journey.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

**A/N** Hey! This is my first fanfiction. Please review and give me feedback.

**Setting:** Saint Vladimirs Academy. Set theoretically sometime just after Frostbite, but Dimitri never decided whether to take Tasha's offer up or not. This story is a chance for me to see how Rose would cope (or not cope) if Dimitri decided to take it, and how she would do to fight for their love. The characters are all a little OOC- Rose is a lot more open and vulnerable with her feelings, especially when it comes to her relationship with Dimitri. Dimitri's a little more impulsive, and Tasha is a little more juvenile in her behaviour. But you'll find that out as you read. I hope you enjoy :)

* * *

"Hell yeah! Ladies and Gents, the amazing Rose Hathaway!" I crowed as I flipped Dimitri onto his back again. We'd been sparring for the past ten minutes and I'd already beaten him twice due to his lack of concentration. When Dimitri didn't respond, I rolled my eyes and offered my hand to him. "Now, now, don't get too excited." _Ah, sarcasm, my oldest friend._ Dimitri's face didn't change at all as he ignored my hand and stoically brushed past me to his bag. He grabbed his water bottle and took a large swig. I followed his lead with only a small amount of attitude.

As I drank, I racked my brain for anything I might have done wrong lately, and when I (for once) came up with nothing, went back to my teasing. "Too bad the trial's still a few weeks away, huh, Comrade? Seeing me kick some ass could brighten anyone's mood, even yours." I winked.

Dimitri stopped drinking and closed his eyes before setting his water bottle down. I warily followed suit. "Actually Rose, I won't be able to make your trial."

My brow furrowed. "What? Seriously, you have outside work on the day of the _trial?_ Can't it wait?"

Dimitri's guardian mask slipped into place. "No, I just won't be around anymore then Rose."

I was confused. "What do you mean you're not going to be around anymore?"

Dimitri watched me cautiously. "I will be leaving to guard Tasha."

I recoiled from him quickly. "What?"

Dimitri just looked at me.

Realisation dawned on me, and the panic started to set in. "You're leaving me?"

Dimitri nodded.

The next time I spoke, my voice shook. "You chose Tasha, not me." It was a question, but not.

Dimitri nodded again, but this time he managed words, albeit hoarse ones. "Yes, Rose."

My breathing picked up and tears blurred my vision. I think I was having a panic attack. "B-But I… I… um." Shit. I knew he was going to pick Tasha, but instead of finding a way to deal with it, I'd chosen to ignore it. Now I was losing him, possibly forever. I needed to fix this fast, and I didn't know how. My mind searched for something, and I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes so I wouldn't cry. When I pulled them away, my hands were wet. Damn it, the pity card would not work here. A cold sweat started to break out on my skin. I respected Dimitri, and I accepted his decision, but dammit, I needed him. The thought of having to live without him had me freaking out. "I could call you? Yeah, that's it, I could call you! And you could help me with my trial like that." Feeble hope filled my voice as well as my soul. My breathing started to slow. It'd be okay. I could still hear his voice, and he could give me advice, and it would all be fine. And when the trial was over, I'd have a better plan. Okay. I looked up at his face, eager, and froze from the regretful look there. The hope trickled out of me and my breathing picked up again. When he opened his mouth, I began to beg for the first time in my life. "No, no, look, I mean, I won't try anything, I swear, I just, I need your help." _I need you_.

"Rose." He said gently.

"_Please." _I don't think I'd ever used that word before.

His breath caught, but when he spoke, his voice was just as gentle as before. "Rose, how do you think Tasha would feel knowing I talk to my ex-girlfriend every night?"

"Okay, just sometimes. Just when I'm really, really stuck." I just couldn't shut up.

"Rose!" Dimitri's voice rose, scolding.

I stopped breathing altogether. Great, now he was mad at me.

I watched his chest rise and fall a few times before I couldn't take it anymore. I let a breath out, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, Dimitri."

I looked down at the ground, and heard Dimitri sigh. "I know, Rose."

Deafening silence ensued.

I scrubbed at a piece of the ground with my shoe, watching it shake a little. Before I could think, the words left my mouth.

"I'm scared."

I slapped my hand to my mouth like I'd said something dirty. Rose Hathaway does not get scared. Dimitri's gaze dropped down to my shoe, still shaking slightly.

"I thought you would be mad. I didn't expect you to be scared."

"I'm so scared, Dimitri." My voice shook. "I don't know how to cope without you. I don't just rely on myself anymore, I rely on you too. And I mean, you're not even letting me be with friends with you anymore and I have trials coming up and Lissa and spirit and-" I forced myself to stop.

Dimitri's face had grown sad at some point. "I'm sorry, Roza. I'm so sorry. I wish I could be there for you.

"Then be there for me." The words were no more than a breath, but I begged him with my eyes.

"I can't Rose, or I'll never stop loving you."

It was both a relief to hear he still loved me, and devastating to realise he wanted to. I never wanted to stop loving him. Problems or not, I'd always want him. For a while, I'd even thought I could have that.

Moments passed. I knew he was right, that a clean break would be best, but letting him go completely would kill me. I needed Dimitri like I needed oxygen.

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, preparing myself for another rejection. "Dimitri… can you just think about it for me, please? Maybe we can compromise a little."

I turned away, already hearing the refusal in my mind. Jesus, I'd actually thought I had a chance with a god. Maybe this was Karma for all my previous wrongdoings. Someone had once told me Karma came back not just three-fold, but ten-fold. That didn't even begin to cover it.

So I was completely surprised when he agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Fuck my life.

Not only is the love of my life leaving me for another woman, my inadequacy also seems to extend to my lack of ability to wrap my hands. I looked down at my hands mournfully. The skin was cracked and bleeding in some places, merely chapped in others. The pain didn't bother me so much as the questions they would bring from my peers. _Oh, yes, I was just beating the crap out of a punching bag so I didn't pummel a royal moroi. No worries! _

_And of course they'd hide the first aid kit where no one could find it. _I slammed the door of the cupboard I was looking in closed, cursing to myself. Where the hell was it? "Fuck me!" I grumbled, spinning around to locate the little box. I'd left Dimitri in the gym after our discussion last night, but when I eventually got back to my dorm room, I couldn't sleep. I'd gone for a walk and somehow ended up in the gym, brutally attacking a punching bag.

I opened another cupboard, scanning the shelves. Jackpot! I found the medical kit… on the tallest shelf. I heard the gym doors open and close behind me but ignored it, assuming another novice had come to practise. Struggling on my tiptoes to reach it, I stretched my hand up and swore when it came inches short of the box. I began to a put a foot on the bottom step, intending to climb up, when the smell of aftershave rolled over me. A tan, muscled forearm moved beside my face and pulled the kit down for me. I froze, instantly recognizing Dimitri.

"Looking for this?"

I stopped a shiver that threatened to run through my body. God, I loved that accent. I turned and reached for the kit. "Thank you."

Dimitri's hand came up and grabbed my wrist before I could take the kit from him. Twisting it to look at my hand, he swore in Russian before tugging me behind him to the mats. "Why weren't you wearing gloves?"

I tugged my hand from his grasp. Could this get any more awkward? "Impromptu training session, Comrade. You should try it sometime, you might learn some skills."

Dimitri ignored my comment and sat down on the mats. He opened the kit, looking very unimpressed, before gesturing for me to sit down too. I crossed my legs and sat in front of him, watching him sort through the kit. After a few moments, he grabbed my right hand from my side and slathered it with antibacterial cream. I flinched from the sting.

"Serves you right," Dimitri scolded. I rolled my eyes as he repeated the action with the other hand.

He grabbed my other hand again, this time rubbing a soothing salve into my skin. I closed my eyes from the feel of his skin rubbing slow, gentle circles into my own, remembering another time he had done this for me. I remembered the conversation we had, how he'd hinted that he thought I was pretty. _Not as pretty as Tasha. _

I didn't want to ask, but I had to know. "Why… Why did you decide to take Tasha's offer?"

Dimitri glanced away, avoiding my gaze for a long time before focusing his attention back onto my hands, rubbing the last of the salve in. As he worked, he spoke.

"I thought about that decision for a long time. About what I wanted in life and what each path offered me. How it would affect my promise." His hands left mine to gesture towards the back of his neck.

Of course he did. That's who Dimitri was.

Dimitri gently placed my hands back on my lap. "In the end, I had to choose, and I wanted to pick the best option."

I looked down, upset. "And that wasn't me. But why?"

Dimitri sighed, running a hand over his face. "Natasha Ozera is a good friend of mine. She's strong, smart, beautiful."

Each word hurt and squeezed my chest tighter. I looked away from him, focusing my gaze on the weights machine in the corner to stop the tears from forming.

I felt Dimitri pull his hands away from his face and dangle them by his sides.

"We wouldn't have to hide our relationship, and… she's willing to have dhampir children, Rose."

I pulled my knees up to my chest as tears started to slide down my cheek. "I wish I could give these things to you."

"I know." We both heard the words he didn't say- _but you can't._

"I wish I was enough for you." Despair filled my voice, even though it was only a whisper.

"Roza." The sounds left his mouth sadly. I waited, and when he didn't deny my claim, calm my fears, the tears started to flow down my face faster. I turned away from him, ashamed of myself, as a quiet sob left my mouth.

I heard him sigh before his hands reached out and pulled me to him. I curled myself into his body and sobbed into his chest as his arms came around me. His left hand stroked my hair softly and he murmured to me in Russian until I calmed down. My hands gripped his shirt as if I could hold him tight enough to make him stay. When Dimitri's hands left my body and moved up to my hands, a fresh tear left my eye. I wasn't ready to let go. He leant down and kissed it away, tangling my fingers with his own and pulling me up with him as he stood. "You're an amazing woman, Rose. Far more than what I deserve." With that, he kissed me on the forehead, gently pulled his hands away, and left the gym, putting the first aid kit back on the shelf on his way out.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

_My biggest thanks to everyone who reviewed! To clarify- Rose is NOT going to be pregnant in this story. Also, Rose will start to fight for Dimitri to take her back, but that includes letting him know how she feels and learning to cope with her own grief. So in a way, she already is fighting for their love. Ta and much love xxx_

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I saw Tasha today.

It was lovely.

Not.

I was bustling across the quad towards afternoon practise with Dimitri when I spotted her coming back from the same direction I was heading. I ignored her hoping she didn't see me, but she spotted me and called out.

"Rose!"

Mentally cringing at the awkward discussion that was about to unfold and praying it would involve words not fists, I forced a smile. "Tasha!"

"How's it going? All ready for trials?" She seemed casual, but my every nerve was on edge, waiting for her start snarling like a rabid dog.

"Those guardians won't know what hit 'em." I winked.

"Sorry to be taking your mentor away from you, so close to trials. I hope it won't affect your training too badly." That's when I saw it. The glint in her eye, the slight smirk. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"Are you kidding? I'm gonna kick ass. I'll just miss him. He was a good mentor." _He was a good everything. _

"I bet that's new- a guy leaving Rose Hathaway." She giggled.

"Sorry?"

"Oh, honey, your reputation precedes you. And why not, with curves like that? If you lost a few kilos, you could be stunning." She made out that she had an itchy spot, pulling her dress tighter and enunciating her skinny frame in her efforts to 'scratch' it. "Oh well, best be off. Take care!"

She bustled past me, making sure her shoulder bumped mine. I rolled my eyes at her efforts to knock me sideways and heading to the gym, head churning.

"You're late."

I threw my bag to the floor. "I know, I'm sorry, I ran into Tasha on the way here."

Dimitri narrowed his eyes. "And?"

I shrugged. "And nothing. She asked if I was ready for the trial. I told her I'd kick ass."

Dimitri didn't look like he believed me, but he let it go. "And you will. Get ready to spar."

I unzipped my jacket to take it off, then looked down at the sports bra I wore underneath, thinking of Tasha's comment. I wasn't fat by any means, hell I was in great shape. But I wasn't dainty and petite, like Tasha was, either. Maybe Dimitri liked his women like that.

"Rose? Everything okay?"

I looked up to see Dimitri looking at me with a mixture of confusion and concern.

I mentally slapped myself and shrugged off my jacket. I was being stupid. I knew I was hot, and no one had ever complained about my size before. "Yeah, good to go."

He nodded reluctantly and led me to the sparring area, talking me through the rules of the challenge- no hitting above the neck, and a kill shot would win the round.

We stepped onto the mats. Dimitri threw the first punch. I dodged and kicked out with my right leg. He blocked, and threw another punch, which I also blocked. We continued in that way, dodging and blocking hits, occasionally landing a few, for a while. Eventually, I managed to get past his defences and knock him down, landing on top of him in the perfect position to pin him. Dimitri bucked under my weight, struggling to get me off him, and I had to use all of my strength to hold him down long enough to "stake" him in the chest. Dimitri stopped and nodded, pride in his eyes, and I grinned, chest heaving. I felt a drop of sweat drip down my neck and saw Dimitri's gaze drop to watch it slip into my sports bra. My mind flashed back to Tasha's earlier comment.

Without thinking, I blurted out, "Do you still think I'm pretty?"

Dimitri head jerked to meet my eyes. "What?" He looked shocked.

I swallowed. "Do you-"

"Yes."

I looked up, hopeful. "Yes?"

He looked back at me sadly. "Yes. You're beautiful. Why would you ask that?"

I looked down, causing a loose tendril of hair to fall in front of my face, and realised that I was still straddling Dimitri. And he was looking great, all sweaty and shirtless. I was positive that was violating academy rules. I moved to get up, quickly, before my mind wandered to what delicious sin could come out of breaking those rules. I would not be that woman who made a man cheat on somebody. "Nevermind."

Dimitri followed me, quickly rising to his feet. He looked at me for a moment as if he were about to say something and then shook his head instead. "Next round."


End file.
